baddoggie's Diaries
Print Story Telephone banking
By BadDoggie (Wed Mar 26, 2014 at 09:25:15 AM EST) banking, Citiwank (all tags)
"Citibank services, this is Joan, how may I help you?"

At least I'd been transferred to a native English speaker, even if it was one with a shrill, Minnesotan twang.

"Um, Joan? What's with this fifteen-buck monthly service fee on my statement?"

(7 comments, 127 words in story) Full Story

By BadDoggie (Wed Jan 29, 2014 at 03:17:45 PM EST) hospitals, ventilation, coma, sufentanil (all tags)
Friday, January 24, 2014.

I have a disabling auto-immune disease which, for three years running now, results in week-long hospital stays in the neuro wing for observation and mild intervention.

Exactly nine weeks ago I was taken into a different (wrong) hospital for unrelated emergency surgery. Apparently Voltaren (diclofenac) does not mix with steroids of any kind; together they Swiss cheese your digestive tract. News to me and my doctors who'd been prescribing both. The hospital used meds completely contraindicated by my condition, then undermedicated me in recovery.

Seven-and-a-half weeks ago I told 'em to stick the opiates, checked out, and went back home to be with my family. Grin & bear it, I'd still make Christmas.

Or so I thought...

(38 comments, 742 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Fuck
By BadDoggie (Sun Oct 27, 2013 at 06:55:09 PM EST) fuck (all tags)
I can walk down that road with you because I've walked it before, but I can't make it any better. Try as I might, I can't walk it for you but I can walk with you.

(7 comments, 893 words in story) Full Story

Print Story A little more custom SQL
By BadDoggie (Tue Sep 24, 2013 at 03:01:14 PM EST) (all tags)
                (fname, mname, sex, bdate, btimeUTC, bweight_gm, blength_cm)
                (Somewhat, Recalcitrant, M, 20130920, 08:48, 3730, 51);

(24 comments, 69 words in story) Full Story

Print Story There was a hair in my buffalo mozzarella
By BadDoggie (Sat Aug 24, 2013 at 03:27:00 PM EST) lame, ass, poosticks, yawn, vagina full of predictions (all tags)
It's that season, and (water-)buffalo mozz is available for only 4× what the regular stuff costs. The difference is a bit of tang which is lost if you dare put any basil paste, balsamic (white or regular) or pretty much anything else on it.

The difference between the cheap shit from Aldi and the expensive stuff from Italian gourmet shops run by PhD-Chem virgins who studied for 20 years in the Japanese style is the difference between Exxon and Shell 93 octane gasoline/petrol.

Also, any fucking TV series wannabe who calls the cheese "mootz" or "mootsaRella" can die in a fire that I have NSA double-secret probationary clearance to set.

(6 comments, 422 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Anyone in Floridia?
By BadDoggie (Sat Jan 26, 2013 at 03:27:30 PM EST) (all tags)
The F-State. I will be there at the beginning of Fed. Bueller?

(15 comments, 59 words in story) Full Story

Print Story I should write something.
By BadDoggie (Sat Jan 05, 2013 at 02:53:20 AM EST) update (all tags)
I really should do. What though? Happy, sad, insightful, reflective? Recollection or nostalgia or politics or a good yarn? Parental pride & bragging? Woe-is-me tales?

At least here we discuss shit. And I miss that, even if it feels like there's no time for it. Facebook has led me to abbreviate almost everything; I'm there out of necessity; what little I post is intended to be either funny or glossed-over politics. I didn't mean to alienate half the Husians to whom I was FB-tied.

Bullet points and a poll.

(10 comments, 320 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Ketoacidosis
Cholesterol: well over two-fitty.
Diet: calorie-rich, fat-heavy, butter even after you scream, "¡No mas!"
Disease: under control.
Stench: unbearable.

(20 comments, 418 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Today kinda sucked
By BadDoggie (Sat Sep 22, 2012 at 01:12:52 PM EST) birds, stuff, kids (all tags)
We actually managed to get some sleep although there were some night wakings, and I was alive when up shortly before the 7:00a.m. screamy-shouty-noisiness that is a clever 3-year-old. And I was intent on Mama getting a few extra minutes' sleep.

A breakfast of waffles (which the Puppy helped make) consumed, I went upstairs for a few minutes with a crappy game on a crappy phone just to be away from stuff.

And then I heard a thump. And some noises from downstairs. And I leapt up and ran down, holding one eye closed, losing parallax but making sure I wouldn't become the ER centre of attention.

(6 comments, 561 words in story) Full Story

Print Story Ah-hmmmmmm
By BadDoggie (Mon Sep 10, 2012 at 05:36:12 PM EST) I ate'nt dead yet, centipedinal bajingoes, stuff, things, items (all tags)
Where do I start? Where does it end? Do I share an awesome tweaked recipe for brisket? Do I go into detail about my stupidity? Do I carry on with more pride than 10 people deserve like every other idiot who ever managed to procreate?

Life is for the living. I'm still alive.

(7 comments, 403 words in story) Full Story

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